Movie Poster Porn Monday: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (by Joshua Budich)
By: Joshua “You think you are safe. You are not.” Richey
J.J. Abrams second endeavor into the Star Trek franchise doesn’t try to reinvent the wheel. It delivers a lot of what made the 2009 reboot as successful as it was only it’s bigger, faster and more action packed while also building off the fantastic relationships between this wonderful cast. Having the origin story out of the way allows Star Trek Into Darkness to go into warp from the very get go — and it does. It’s a ton of fun and is a prime example of what a summer blockbuster should be. Not even seeing Damon Lindelof’s name multiple times in the credits can stop Star Trek Into Darkness from being as good — if not better — than the film that we all fell in love with four years ago.
We give Star Trek Into Darkness 4 sets of unnecessary space boobs out of 5.
By: Joshua “Dads leave. No need to be such a pussy about it.” Richey
Of the Marvel films that led up to last summer’s box office smash, The Avengers — Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor and Captain America — it’s widely accepted by most that Iron Man 2 was the weakest of the bunch. Now, thanks to Iron Man 3, it no longer carries that burden. Now for those of you that love the Iron Man movies for Robert Downey Jr.’s sarcastic and witty take on the Tony Stark character, you’re not going to be disappointed in that respect. When it comes to humor, Iron Man 3 is by far the funniest Marvel movie to date. But, unfortunately, there isn’t much more to it than that. The story isn’t great, the plot holes are large, there’s far too much Gwyneth Paltrow and the last 45 minutes feel like nothing more than a really long toy commercial.
We give Iron Man 3 three pissed off Gwyneth Paltrow’s out of 5.