Movies on Film

Movie Poster Porn Monday: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (by...

mooshoo — Mon, 20 May 2013 13:18:05 -0400

Movie Poster Porn Monday: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (by Joshua Budich)

Star Trek Into Darkness Review

mooshoo — Sun, 19 May 2013 07:56:24 -0400

By: Joshua “You think you are safe. You are not.” Richey

J.J. Abrams second endeavor into the Star Trek franchise doesn’t try to reinvent the wheel. It delivers a lot of what made the 2009 reboot as successful as it was only it’s bigger, faster and more action packed while also building off the fantastic relationships between this wonderful cast. Having the origin story out of the way allows Star Trek Into Darkness to go into warp from the very get go — and it does. It’s a ton of fun and is a prime example of what a summer blockbuster should be. Not even seeing Damon Lindelof’s name multiple times in the credits can stop Star Trek Into Darkness from being as good — if not better — than the film that we all fell in love with four years ago.

We give Star Trek Into Darkness 4 sets of unnecessary space boobs out of 5.

Iron Man 3 Review

mooshoo — Thu, 16 May 2013 21:57:40 -0400

By: Joshua “Dads leave. No need to be such a pussy about it.” Richey

Of the Marvel films that led up to last summer’s box office smash, The Avengers — Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor and Captain America — it’s widely accepted by most that Iron Man 2 was the weakest of the bunch. Now, thanks to Iron Man 3, it no longer carries that burden. Now for those of you that love the Iron Man movies for Robert Downey Jr.’s sarcastic and witty take on the Tony Stark character, you’re not going to be disappointed in that respect. When it comes to humor, Iron Man 3 is by far the funniest Marvel movie to date. But, unfortunately, there isn’t much more to it than that. The story isn’t great, the plot holes are large, there’s far too much Gwyneth Paltrow and the last 45 minutes feel like nothing more than a really long toy commercial.

We give Iron Man 3 three pissed off Gwyneth Paltrow’s out of 5.

Movie Poster Porn Monday: Star Trek Into Darkness

mooshoo — Mon, 13 May 2013 11:14:25 -0400

Movie Poster Porn Monday: Star Trek Into Darkness

Movie Poster Porn Monday: The World’s End

mooshoo — Mon, 06 May 2013 17:46:36 -0400

Movie Poster Porn Monday: The World’s End

Movie Poster Porn Monday: Gremlins (by Ken Taylor)

mooshoo — Mon, 06 May 2013 16:13:19 -0400

Movie Poster Porn Monday: Gremlins (by Ken Taylor)

Movie Poster Porn Monday: Iron Man 3

mooshoo — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 20:20:24 -0400

Movie Poster Porn Monday: Iron Man 3

Movie Poster Porn Monday: Django Unchained (Mike Butkus)

mooshoo — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 13:27:53 -0400

Movie Poster Porn Monday: Django Unchained (Mike Butkus)

Identity Thief Review

itstjtime — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 07:28:09 -0400

By: T.J. “read it on wikiHow” Mulligan

It’s March, meaning we’re three months into the new year and, thus far, there have been no releases dispensed into theaters that make me want to spend any of my hard-earned money. But I have a girlfriend, and we get increasingly bored watching syndicated television and going to bars. Thus, a trip to the cineplex seemed (and was) inevitable. This left us with a choice: see a movie we’ve already seen that was held-over from last year, take a very risky chance on something like Jack the Giant Slayer, or find a flick with trusted faces that hopefully won’t let us down too much. We went with the latter, and this led us smack-dab in front of Identity Thief. When my girlfriend asked if I wanted to see it I said “yes” but what I really meant was “whatever, fuck it.” I add this anecdote just to give you my frame of mind going in: Whatever. Fuck it.

Identity Thief is the story of Sandy Patterson (Jason Bateman), a mild-mannered accountant in Denver who unwittingly gives his personal security information to a woman (Melissa McCarthy) over the phone who he thinks works for his credit card’s company. When his co-workers get fed up with the treatment they are receiving from their boss and decide to form their own company, they ask Sandy to join along, to which he agrees. As he’s starting to settle into the new job, evidence begins mounting that his identity has in fact been stolen, including his name being involved in some illegal activity, which brings the cops to his new place of employ. The police eventually realize there is a mix up when they receive a mug shot of the woman using his identity in Florida. Because the crimes she committed took place in Florida, the police tell Sandy they can do nothing unless she is right there in front of them. With his job in jeopardy and a third child on the way, Sandy decides to head to Florida to bring the woman back with him and clear his name. Of course, that’s a much better plan in theory than in practice.

I went in with a “fuck it” mentality and the best I can say for this movie is that I didn’t hate it. It was funny, but not funny enough to warrant taking up a lot of space on here with a long-winded review. The first few months of the year are commonly known to be a dumping ground for films that studios don’t believe are all that great so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that this film will likely be remembered for very little even so far as later this year. Again, this is not as bad as some critics are making it out to be: you won’t lose brain cells by watching it and you just might get a hearty chuckle or two out of it, but if you’re like me and money is a friend you don’t get to catch up with often, parting with it to see this might be ill advised. But what do I know? Fuck it.

I give Identity Thief 2 super short Jon Favreau cameos out of 5.

House At The End of the Street Review

mooshoo — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 21:19:20 -0400

Let’s be fair. You’re not watching House At The End of the Street because you’re genuinely interested in it. You’re watching it for one of two reasons: You’re either hoping to capture some Jennifer Lawrence footage that you can turn into gif’s that captures “your feels” for your latest Tumblr post or you’re wanting to see Jennifer Lawrence run around in a white tank top. It’s one or the other.

Well, I’ve saved you all the trouble. Here’s a gif of Jennifer Lawrence running around in a white tank top. Enjoy. Because you’re sure as hell not going to enjoy this awful movie.

House At The End of the Street is a film with so many problems that I don’t even know where to start. The acting is bad, the writing is worse and the “twist” is obvious midway through the movie. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that this film is basically shit.

Don’t worry, Jennifer. We still love you. We understand that you’ve got bills to pay. Al Pacino was in Jack and Jill. Robert De Niro was in Rocky and Bullwinkle. Robert Downey Jr. was in The Shaggy Dog. This film is yours. You can bounce back from this.

We give House At The End of the Street one box of tampons out of 5.

Keith Lemon: The Film Review

mooshoo — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 16:51:00 -0500

Before we get started, I want you to do something for me: Stop what you’re doing and focus on the following gif for a few moments.

Now you might be wondering to yourself, “Why is this guy asking me to watch a gif of a rhinoceros pooping?” Well, friend, that gif that you just saw tells a better story, features better acting, and is overall a better experience than anything that you’ll find in Keith Lemon: The Film.

Now I’ll be honest, when it comes to British humor, I don’t always get it. For example, I watched, like, 4 episodes of Downton Abbey and didn’t laugh once. Being an American, I’m not entirely sure of what Keith Lemon is supposed to be. I’m not sure if this is a big thing over there or if it’s simply the equivalent of our Andy Dick. Whatever it is, it’s not entertaining. I watched Keith Lemon: The Film for one reason…well, I guess, technically, for two reasons, and not even they were worth it.

I’m not saying that Keith Lemon: The Film is the worst movie ever made. I’m simply saying that it’s the worst movie that I’ve ever seen. It’s worse than Battlefield Earth. It’s worse than Troll 2. It’s worse than Spiderman 3.

Typically, if a movie is really bad, this is the part in the review where we give it a 1 out of 5. But I took a look back at some of the films that we gave 1’s to. Saw 3D, Piranha 3D, Legion…and, well, those are all much better films than Keith Lemon. So I don’t even think I can give it a 1.

We give Keith Lemon: The Film 0 redeeming qualities out of 5.

Silver Linings Playbook Review

mooshoo — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 09:25:34 -0500

By: Joshua “You say more inappropriate things than appropriate things” Richey

I would be very hard pressed to think of a better movie to recommend for your next date night than David O. Russell’s Silver Linings Playbook. It’s a romantic drama that has just enough dancing and Bradley Cooper in it for the ladies to overlook all of the football talk and features just enough football and Jennifer Lawrence in yoga pants in there for the fellas to overlook all the dancing and that feeling of worthlessness that comes along with seeing Bradley Cooper on screen. I’m sorry. That dude’s pretty.

While it would be easy to sit here and waste bandwidth in telling you how great of a job Bradley Cooper and David O. Russell have done in this instance, I’m instead going to focus on Jennifer Lawrence’s performance as Tiffany. In playing a sex addicted widow that’s just looking for acceptance, Jennifer steals the show here with an emotional portrayal that will likely result in her winning ‘Best Actress’ at the Academy Awards this evening. Her chemistry with Cooper is so natural. As if Cooper and Lawrence’s performances weren’t enough, Robert De Niro is in there too with yet another brilliant effort. It’s nice to know that, when given good material to work with, Robert’s still one of the best there’s ever been.

For a truly rewarding experience, be sure to check out Silver Linings Playbook. You won’t regret it.

We give 4 “Oh my god. She’s wearing a Kevin Kolb jersey’s” out of 5.

13 Films We're Excited About For 2013

mooshoo — Sun, 06 Jan 2013 17:29:00 -0500

2013 may lack the sexiness of The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises, but there’s a lot of really great movies to look forward to. Here’s the 13 that we’re most excited for.

13. This Is The End
What is it: James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd and others face the apocalypse.

Why we’re excited: James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd and others face the apocalypse.

12. World War Z
What is it: A U.N. employee (Brad Pitt) races to stop a zombie outbreak.

Why we’re excited: Okay, so this one really shouldn’t be on this list. World War Z is a fantastic book. If you’ve not read the Max Brooks book, you should do so immediately. If reading isn’t your thing, download the audio book. It’s so good. From looks alone, the only thing that this film has in common with the book is the title. This is also a film that’s had more than its fair share of problems during production. Delays, re-shoots, rewrites while filming…that’s not a good sign. But, oh well. Zombies.

11. The Evil Dead
What is it: A remake of the 1981 classic. Kids go to an old cabin in the woods. Find an old book. Open it. Tree rape.

Why we’re excited about it: While it originally appeared that this was going to be yet another unneeded Hollywood remake, I can’t help but to be impressed by the film’s trailers. Oh, and tree rape.

10. Gravity
What is it: Two astronauts (Sandra Bullock and George Clooney) float through space after their space shuttle is destroyed.

Why we’re excited about it: It’s the first film that Alfonso Cuarón has made since his 2006 hit Children of Men. There’s also word of 20-45 minute takes. The entire concept sounds cool.

9. Only God Forgives
What is it: Ryan Gosling challenges his brothers killer to a Thai-boxing match.

Why we’re excited about it: Here’s all that you need to know about Only God Forgives: It stars Ryan Gosling and it’s directed by Nicolas Winding Refn. The last time these two men teamed up? 2011’s Drive. So…yeah…I am excite.

8. Monsters University
What is it: The story of how Mike and Sulley became friends.

Why we’re excited about it: It’s so good to be able to look forward to a Pixar movie again. Monsters University, the prequel to 2001’s Monsters Inc, looks as charming and enjoyable as the original.

7. Thor: The Dark World
What is it: Thor fights off a new threat, the Dark Elves.

Why we’re excited: On this go around, Alan Taylor will be the director. Now if his name doesn’t sound familiar, don’t worry, most won’t know it. But I’m excited about it because Taylor was at the helm of a lot of my favorite episodes of Game of Thrones. There’s a lot of moments during Game of Thrones where I can’t help but to think “Man, this is what a Thor movie should’ve looked like.”

6. The Man of Steel
What is it: The origin story of Superman

Why we’re excited: That trailer.

5. Star Trek into Darkness
What is it: Captain Kirk leads the Enterprise into the darkest part of the universe in an attempt to find a madman.

Why we’re excited: It’s only natural to get excited for more JJ Abrams Star Trek. Afterall, his 2009 reboot of the franchise was loved by nearly everyone. So, obviously, Star Trek has to make this list.

4. Iron Man 3
What is it: Tony Stark must battle his greatest foe yet, the Mandarin.

Why we’re excited: I think that we can all agree that, of all the Marvel movies, Iron Man 2 was the weakest. Iron Man 3 looks to rectify this. Shane Black, writer of the Lethal Weapon films and the director of the amazing Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, takes over the directorial duties and looks to be creating a much darker, more personal Iron Man film.

3. Pacific Rim
What is it: Humans only defense against a gigantic alien menace is to construct equally gigantic robots.

Why we’re excited: Guillermo del Toro has made a movie about giant robots that battle giant monsters. What else do you need? Take my money, Mr. del Toro. Take it all.

2. The World’s End
What is it: A group of friends go to a pub and then become humanity’s last hope.

Why we’re excited: First came Shaun of the Dead, then came Hot Fuzz…now there’s The World’s End. Director Edgar Wright and stars Simon Pegg and Nick Frost team up again to complete the three flavours cornetto trilogy. It’s just so nice to know that you’re going to love a movie before you even know much about it. This team hasn’t let anyone down yet.

1. Elysium
What is it: Matt Damon must escape the rubbles of Earth to reach Elysium, the man-made home of the important and wealthy.

Why we’re excited: Neill Blomkamp has a unique style that I just cannot get enough of. Go on to YouTube and watch the shorts he’s shot. They’re beautiful and showcase how visual effects should be used. It’s no surprise that his theatrical film debut, 2009’s District 9, is one of my favorite films of all-time. Elysium is his followup to District 9, and I cannot wait.

Skyfall Review

mooshoo — Sat, 10 Nov 2012 20:51:00 -0500

By: Joshua “Every now and then a trigger needs pulled” Richey

Often imitated, never duplicated, Skyfall, the 23rd installment of Ian Flemming’s 007 series, manages to prove that the James Bond character is still evolving even 50 years after his big screen debut. The 007 reboot that launched in 2006 with Martin Campbell’s Casino Royale and featured Daniel Craig in the lead role introduced a new kind of Bond. There were no more gadgets, no more impractical settings, and far less face palm inducing pun-filled one-liners. This was a darker, more grounded Bond, and critics and lifelong Bond fans alike embraced it with open arms. Some would say that it was an attempt to cash in on the success of the Jason Bourne films (Bourne Identity, Bourne Supremacy, Bourne Ultimatum) but others saw it for what it really was: the necessary maturation of a franchise that had become irrelevant.

There may have been twenty-two Bond films before Skyfall, but none of them have managed to do for 007 what this one does. While Casino Royale was the perfect reintroduction of the Bond character for a new generation, Skyfall is able to flesh out the character more in two hours than others have been able to do over the course of 50 years. (Note: Yes, I’m pretending that Quantum of Solace never happened. Just as everyone should.) So if Skyfall isn’t like any Bond film before it, what is it like? Well, for me, I see a lot of parallels between this film and Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight. Aside from the obvious similarities in scale and visuals, both films take these legendary over-the-top characters, make them vulnerable in ways we’ve never seen, and places them in a cruel scenario’s with a madman who has no real ambition other than to create as much chaos as he can. Oh yes, just as The Dark Knight had Heath Ledger’s Joker, Skyfall has Javier Bardem’s performance of Silva. I don’t know what it is about Bardem and his villain’s but he manages to steal the show whenever he’s given the opportunity to be one.

As a fan of the James Bond franchise, obviously I loved Skyfall. In my opinion, it’s the perfect Bond film. It takes the franchise to new and exciting places while at the same time honoring the tradition of the films that came before it. But the thing that really sets Skyfall apart from other Bond films is its ability to appeal to people that aren’t fans of the franchise. Sam Mendes didn’t just make a great Bond film, Sam Mendes, as he often does, made a great film in general. I went to see the film last night with my girlfriend — who I suspected was only going so that in two weeks, when I told her “no” when she asked me to take her to see Silver Linings Playbook, could say “I SAT THROUGH SKYFALL FOR YOU!” My girlfriend had never seen a James Bond movie in her life. Yet she absolutely loved it. Afterwards, on the drive home, she was filled with 007-related questions and expressed a sincere interest in wanting to see it again. That’s saying something, I think.

Skyfall is an emotional roller coaster of a film that has got the great action scenes that you would expect, but also has the depth and complexity that you wouldn’t. It’s a movie that needs to be seen on a big screen, so get out there and see it if you haven’t already.

We give Skyfall 5 awkward Daniel Craig sprints out of 5.

Josh and TJ's Top 5 Scary Movies

mooshoo — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 18:59:38 -0400

In celebration of Halloween, TJ and I put together a list of our 5 scariest films. We each went about our lists a little differently. TJ’s list includes his 5 favorite scurry movies whereas I’m listing the 5 movies that caused me the most emotional trauma. Enjoy and feel free to tell us your favorites!

TJ’s Five Favorite Scary Movies

5. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
When I first watched this movie I was simply annoyed by it. Maybe I was just in a bad mood that night or something because since then I’ve come to recognize this film for what it is: a truly disturbing flick that succeeds by making the audience increasingly more uncomfortable all the way until the end.

4. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
This film has never really scared me in the traditional sense, but it is the film that gave life to a sub genre of horror that still yields some of the best and scariest of the genre itself. Throw in the subtle social issues it brings up and it gives the audience a slight glimpse into their own psyche, which may be scarier than anything ever committed to celluloid.

3. Cloverfield
This movie is one that gets significantly less scary with each viewing, but still contains a moment that I can’t watch (when HUd, with his camera, look up from right underneath the monster). It’s one of the most fun horror movies I’ve seen in the theaters in recent years and still keeps me engrossed every time I watch.

2. The Ring
Holy shit did this movie scare me when I first saw it. I probably only watched about 2/3 of the movie itself on first viewing because of how much I didn’t want to keep my eyes on the screen. Gruesome and disturbing as fuck, this is was the apex of remade Japanese horror movies in the early/mid 2000s.

1. Alien
You want a scary film that holds up even after multiple viewings and 30 plus years after being released, this little guy right here is that movie. It manages to mix the sci-fi, psychological and monster sub genres of horror so well that it still deeply affects me every time I watch it.

Josh’s Five Scary Movies That Made Him Realize He Hates Scary Movies

5. The Mist
That ending. Fuck that ending.

4. The Descent
The first movie in a long time that made me press pause, get up, turn on the light and sit back down. “What? I’m not scared. It was just getting dark.”

3. Alien
A movie that took me about 8 years to finish. I’d sit down and try to be brave. “This time I’m going to finish it,” I thought. Nope.

2. Nightmare on Elm Street
Yeah, we can look back on these films now and say “That’s stupid,” but you couldn’t back when I was a kid in the late-80’s, early-90’s. Freddy Krueger was the reason for a lot of sleepless nights for me.

1. Evil Dead
This was this movie that taught me that there are so many things that are worse than death…like tree rape.

mooshoo: Oh hey! My favorite movie of 2012 (thus far) was...

mooshoo — Tue, 16 Oct 2012 19:48:22 -0400

mooshoo:

Oh hey! My favorite movie of 2012 (thus far) was released on DVD/bluray today. See it immediately. (Taken with Instagram)

The Campaign Review

itstjtime — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:49:59 -0400

By: T.J. “It’s a mess” Mulligan

The world of United States government contains a surprisingly large amount of “P” words associated with it: politics, pundits, precincts, platforms, publicity and… pugs? That at least holds true in the case of Marty Huggins, Zach Galifianakis’ character in the political comedy The Campaign. The film itself pokes so much fun at smaller scale politics that it practically leaves a bruise, but is that enough to make it a good comedy film?

The Campaign tells the story of Cam Brady (Will Ferrell), a congressman representing a small district in North Carolina. Despite lingering scandals Brady is looking at a fifth consecutive term, again running unopposed for the seat. Enter the Motch brothers (John Lithgow and Dan Aykroyd), corrupt businessmen with illegal ties to companies in China, looking to insert their own candidate into the race and further their nefarious business strategies in North Carolina. They look no further than the son of a former associate of theirs, the hapless tourism director for the small town of Hammond, Marty Huggins (Galifianakis). Under the guise that a win will allow him to help his tiny town, Huggins agrees and is assigned a vicious campaign strategist named Tim Wattley (Dylan McDermott). While Brady doesn’t take the unassuming Huggins seriously at first, a ferocious campaign ensues, testing both men’s personal lives and moral barometers (with comedic results, of course).

Jay Roach is no stranger to comedy, helming the Austin Powers and Meet the Parents series of movies among others, but he also has a knack for political fare as evidenced by his efforts on the HBO movies Recount and Game Change. His ability to mix the two genres to create biting satire of politics on all scales, as well as the comedic abilities of leading men Ferrell and Galifianakis, makes for a hilarious take on a subject completely ripe for parody… at least theoretically.

The problem with this movie is the problem many comedies seem to suffer from: everything that’s funny is in the trailer. I had seen the trailer prior to going to the movies, as well as multiple commercials, and was prepared for more of what made me laugh after said viewings, but all I got were the same jokes I’d already witnessed and others that landed well short of the mark set by the trailer. Sure, watching Ferrell’s Brady accidentally punch a baby is a pretty damn hilarious notion, but knowing that it happens going into the movie, the moment falls flat, eliciting slight chuckles at best. Same with the scene where Brady is shot with the crossbow, same with the scene around the dinner table of the Huggins family. These are moments that would have probably had me rolling in the aisle had I not known they were coming. And on the other hand are the jokes not featured, which don’t even scrape the bar set by the type of jokes in the trailer (though one particular scene featuring Brady trying to recite the Lord’s Prayer did get a pretty good rise out of me).

It’s almost a shame that I didn’t go into this movie completely cold, and I know by reviewing this movie here I’m simply perpetuating my own complaints, but it is what it is and The Campaign simply is not as funny as it wishes it was.

I give The Campaign 2 “Chinese dogs” out of 5.

ohnosiro: In the end credits, the Coffee Shop Manager is...

mooshoo — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 07:21:44 -0400

ohnosiro:

In the end credits, the Coffee Shop Manager is credited as just Coffee Shop. Quentin Tarantino said this was because when Tim Roth puts the gun to his head and says “Are you gonna be a hero?”, the manager only says “I’m just a Coffee Shop-” before Tim Roth cuts him off and starts yelling again.

I’M JUST A COFFEE SHOP

mooshoo: This little low budget film called The Avengers was...

mooshoo — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 10:14:17 -0400

mooshoo:

This little low budget film called The Avengers was released today on DVD and Bluray. Support artistic indie films and go pick up a copy of it today.

mooshoo: Detachment is now available on Instant Netflix. It’s a...

mooshoo — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 07:22:55 -0400

mooshoo:

Detachment is now available on Instant Netflix.

It’s a movie that we saw last year at Tribeca and it was hands down the winner for “Best Downer” of the festival. I recommend it, but only if you’re game for one gloomy and depressing evening.